Benefits of Quitting Porn: 7 Positive Changes that Men Experience on No-Fap

Jeremy Lipkowitz
8 min readApr 11, 2023

Today I want to talk about what you can expect when you finally stop watching porn. What are some of the changes that will come into your life, and some of the benefits that you’ll experience when you stop watching porn.

(To listen to the podcast version of this episode, click here to listen on Spotify and here for Apple Podcasts).

This is an important topic because the scary truth is that most men don’t know what life is like without the influence of porn. Most men have been watching since they were so young that they can’t even remember what it’s like to go for a week or two weeks or a month without porn in their life.

This is like that parable of asking a fish, how’s the water? And the fish says, “what water?” It’s because we’re swimming in this our whole life. We don’t know what it’s like to be without it. We barely recognize that it’s actually having an influence on us. This is in part because porn is so normalized in our society, in our culture, it’s just assumed that it’s normal and everyone watches it. Not many people take the time to really examine what life would be like without this.

Over the past few decades, especially, more and more people have been speaking out about the negative impact that porn has had on. From problems in their relationships to sexual dysfunctions, to a lack of focus, and to that sense of shame that comes when you watch things you aren’t proud of.

For many men, quitting porn can lead to a number of positive changes. So today I want to talk about the top seven changes that you might experience when you stop watching porn.

1. Improved physical strength and vitality

The first thing that you might notice is improved physical strength and vitality. Watching porn contributes to that sedentary lifestyle and poor physical health that so many people struggle with.

Porn sometimes just feels like this black hole that sucks away your energy. You just feel this sinking feeling, like being pulled down into your porn habit. After a porn session, you can just be laying there, soaked in your own sweat, exhausted, and wondering what you’ve been doing for the past one or two hours.

By quitting porn, most men report an improvement in their physical strength and vitality. They become more active and engaged in physical activity, in exercise, and in movement.

You will literally have more energy in your body because you’re not wasting that energy on porn. You actually feel that strength inside of you. You go to the gym and you feel like you can lift more, you can move more, you can run longer, and you can feel that sense of vitality coming back into you when you give up porn.

So that is one of the first things you will start to notice when you stop watching porn is just how much more energy and strength that you have in your life.

2. Improved sense of self-esteem and self-confidence

Change number two that you might start to notice is an improved sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. One of the most damaging effects of watching porn is that it can lead to feelings of guilt or shame or embarrassment. Like you need to hide something or like you’re broken in some way, and these can have a negative impact on your self esteem. They can also have a ripple effect and lead to things like depression and anxiety and other mental health issues.

By giving up porn, you will feel more self-esteem when you start to shed some of the negative emotions like guilt and shame and embarrassment. You will feel more confident, and more sense of self worth in who you are.

When you make healthier decisions in your life, when you have those moments of wanting to act out, but then you make that decision and say, “You know what? This isn’t leading me where I want to go. This isn’t contributing to my life in any way, so I’m not going to act out.” It gives you that sense of self-respect.

When you start living with integrity, your self-esteem will grow. When you start making choices based on your values and your highest self, your self-esteem will grow. You begin to feel like the man that you want to be, rather than living like a man who you don’t want to be. So that’s benefit number two, improved self-esteem and self-confidence.

3. Increased productivity and focus

Benefit number three is an increased productivity and focus. Watching porn is a habit that can be hugely time consuming and can distract you from so many other important aspects of your life: Your hobbies, your relationships, your work. Because of the high level of stimulation of modern day pornography, it also leads to brain fog and a kind of numbness or fuzziness in the mind. When you quit watching porn, you start to notice your focus, your ability to concentrate begins coming back.

You will have more productivity, and you can get more stuff done. You can stay focused on your tasks longer. You’ll procrastinate less. You’ll have more mental clarity. Your brain actually just feels sharper, more clear. It feels like waking up from being drunk. A wakeful quality, that sharp clarity in the mind.

So this is one of the huge benefits of quitting porn. Even if you think it’s not having an effect on your relationships, at the very least it’s having an effect on your focus, your productivity, your time management. So this is the third thing you can expect to see: brain fog going away and more focus and clarity and concentration coming back into your life.

4. Improved emotional connection with partners

The fourth thing you will start to see when you quit porn is an improved emotional connection with your partners. Porn promotes unrealistic views of sex and intimacy, and this can lead to dissatisfaction and disconnection from your partner. But by quitting porn, you can begin to appreciate and engage in more meaningful and fulfilling experiences with your partner.

You can start to build a stronger emotional connection because you’re actually connecting with your partner, rather than giving all your energy into the fantasy world. Porn can also make you more irritable and less patient, and that will have obvious ramifications on your relationships.

So when you quit watching porn, your overall patience grows, your depth grows, your ability to connect with the people in your life grows. You can actually look in the eyes of your partner and be there in those difficult moments, rather than just wanting to run away or escape into porn. So that’s the fourth benefit: an improved emotional connection with your partner or loved ones.

5. Increased sexual satisfaction and arousal

The fifth thing that you will experience when you give up watching porn is increased sexual satisfaction and arousal. This is one that so many of the people I work with talk about, that their physical attraction to their partner starts coming back and their libido gets stronger.

This is because porn consumption leads to a desensitization of the brain’s reward system. It makes it difficult for men to experience sexual satisfaction in real life situations. When you watch porn, you become habituated to high-intensity stimuli that you see on a screen.

It’s kind of like junk-food sexuality, and you end up needing that junk food. You lose your ability to appreciate real world sex when you become more habituated to what you’re watching on a screen. So by quitting porn, men will often report an increase in sexual satisfaction and intimacy. They rediscover the pleasure of real intimacy and connection with their partners.

On this one, there might be a little bit of a delay as you go through your detox period and some of the withdrawal symptoms. But within a few days or weeks, your sexual satisfaction and your libido will return stronger than ever.

6. Improved sleep

Benefit number six is you will improve your sleep. Watching porn is so stimulating that it can interfere with a person’s ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. And by quitting porn again, men often report in improved sleep patterns and a better quality of sleep as well.

This obviously has ripple effects. It leads to increased energy, greater overall health, and even your immune system is stronger. So instead of staying up late into the night watching porn, you actually give yourself that gift of sleep and rejuvenation. Sleep is just so important. It’s one of the main aspects of overall health and wellbeing.

And so when you quit watching porn, instead of staying up late into the night, you give yourself time to recover, to rejuvenate yourself. So that is the sixth benefit: better sleep.

7. Improved sense of purpose

The seventh positive change you can expect, and this is probably the most important, is reconnecting with a sense of purpose and meaning in life. Watching porn is such a mindless activity. It just leaves you feeling empty and unfulfilled. You can waste your whole life lusting after images on a screen, and just wanting more and more pleasure. But to what end? When will it be enough and what’s the point of it all?

Men often report an increased sense of purpose and direction in their lives after quitting porn. They start to focus on more meaningful and fulfilling activities, rather than just trying to escape and numb out and experience more pleasure. Instead, men will start to think beyond themselves, reflecting on questions like, what is my purpose here on this earth? Or how do I want to be remembered by my loved ones? Or how can I contribute to the world in a meaningful way?

This aspect of reconnecting with a purpose or finding a meaning to your life is one of the changes that happens when you make this intentional switch and decide that you’re no longer going to watch porn.

When you give up porn, in the vacuum that that creates, in the space that that creates, inevitably this question comes up: how do I want to live? What do I want to spend my time doing? Living from that space of purpose and meaning is so important. For men in particular, there’s something about what it means to be a man, we need that sense of purpose. We need that sense of meaning to our life. And so this is the seventh change you start to experience: Connecting to deeper purpose and meaning in life.

So those are the seven positive changes you can expect when you stop watching porn. I don’t want to give the impression that these changes will happen overnight, or that they come very easily. The path of recovery is not linear and there’s no set timeline. But know that these are some of the things that you will start to experience when you really give up watching porn, when you give up this kind of selfish pursuit of just wanting more pleasure all of the time. You will start to experience genuine benefits in your life. So many people have never had the experience of being porn free in their life. My challenge to you is to break free so that you can start to experience some of these benefits.

In conclusion, quitting porn can lead to a range of positive changes and benefits, including improved emotional connection with partners, increased productivity and focus, improved mental and physical health, increased sexual satisfaction, improved self-esteem and sense of purpose, improved relationships with women, improved sleep, and improved social life. If you’re struggling with a porn addiction or just looking to improve your overall well-being, quitting porn may be a step in the right direction.

Want to get help with your addiction? I offer free discovery coaching calls for people who are ready to break free from their addiction and are looking for support. Click here to book a free call.

--

--

Jeremy Lipkowitz

Executive Coach (ACC/CPCC) | Leadership Development Facilitator | Digital Habits Expert | Feat. in Men's Health