Breaking free from porn addiction: how to find a safe person to talk to about it

Questions to ask yourself to find a safe & supportive listener:

  • Who is likely to accept me in spite of my porn problem?
  • Whom can I trust not to shame me or condemn me?
  • Whom have I been able to confide in previously, with positive results?
  • Who does not gossip about others?
  • Who has respected confidentiality in the past?
  • Who has compassion and sensitivity about personal problems?
  • Who is understanding and knowledgeable about addiction and recovery?

Here are some additional questions to ask yourself:

  • Am I ready to give up porn completely, or do I still want to maintain a relationship with porn?
  • Am I asking for accountability, emotional support, or just someone to listen without judgement?
  • Why am I disclosing my addiction now?
  • How much information do I feel comfortable disclosing to this person?

How to prepare for opening up to another person:

  • Ask if they have the time and space to listen to something that is hard for you to share.
  • Let them know it is hard for you to talk about this because you are worried that people might judge you.
  • Let them know what you are looking for (i.e. just listening, accountability, or guidance).
  • Let them know you have chosen them because you feel safe with them and respect their opinion.

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