What I Wish I Knew At The Beginning of My Porn Recovery Journey

Jeremy Lipkowitz
3 min readNov 20, 2023

Embarking on the path of recovery from porn addiction can be a challenging and isolating journey. Reflecting on my own experiences at the (starting my recovery around the age of 24), I find there are several crucial insights that, had I known them earlier, would have significantly eased my recovery process and improved my mental well-being. In the hope of helping others on their journey, I want to share these insights that I believe can make a profound difference for you in your recovery journey.

What I Wish I Knew At The Beginning of My Porn Recovery Journey

1. You Are Not Alone

Perhaps the most impactful realization is understanding that you are not alone in your struggle. The shame and isolation that often accompany porn addiction can be eased by recognizing that many others share similar challenges. Breaking free from the misconception that you are the only one grappling with this issue is a pivotal step towards healing. The sense of compassion that arises from knowing others face similar struggles can be incredibly therapeutic.

2. Watching Porn Doesn’t Make You a Bad Person

Another crucial lesson is dismantling the belief that watching porn makes you a bad person. The shame surrounding porn addiction often leads to feelings of unworthiness and self-loathing. Acknowledging that your struggle does not define your character and seeking understanding rather than judgment can be liberating. It’s essential to recognize that discussing these challenges openly can dispel the unnecessary stigma surrounding the topic.

3. Embrace Your Sexual Desires

Understanding the inherent beauty of human sexuality and intimacy is vital for a successful recovery from porn and sex addiction. Many people associate their sexual desires with shame, believing they are gross or perverse. However, embracing your sexuality as a natural and positive aspect of being human can empower you to channel that energy into healthier outlets. Rather than suppressing desires, the journey involves learning to navigate and express them in a positive and wholesome way.

4. Shame Exacerbates Addiction

Shame is a powerful force that can intensify addiction. Feeling broken or unworthy often leads to isolation, and acting out, hindering the healing process. Recognizing the destructive role of shame and actively working to let it go is crucial. Acceptance and self-love, even in the face of imperfection, are fundamental to breaking the cycle of addiction.

5. Seek Support and Accountability

Recovery cannot be a solitary endeavor. Seeking support in various forms, such as therapy, coaching, or joining a men’s group, is like giving a nitro-boost to your recovery. Accountability from understanding and empathetic individuals can significantly increase the likelihood of success. Surrounding yourself with a supportive network provides ongoing encouragement and prevents you from succumbing to moments of weakness.

6. A Relapse Is Not the End

Relapses are a natural part of recovery, and it’s essential not to let them define the entire journey. Instead of viewing a relapse as a failure, consider it a learning opportunity. Acknowledge it, learn from it, and use the experience to strengthen your commitment to recovery. Focusing on the total number of days without engaging in addictive behaviors is more beneficial than fixating on individual streaks.

Finally, just remember that the road to recovery is not straight-forward. It requires self-compassion, understanding, and a supportive community. By internalizing these lessons and seeking assistance when needed, you can navigate your journey with resilience and a greater likelihood of success. Remember, you are not alone, and there is strength in vulnerability and connection.

Want to get help with your addiction? I offer free discovery coaching calls for people who are ready to break free from their addiction and are looking for support. Click here to book a free call.

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Jeremy Lipkowitz

Executive Coach (ACC/CPCC) | Leadership Development Facilitator | Digital Habits Expert | Feat. in Men's Health